Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
6 26 2023
Why haven’t I been growing spiritually?
The Process of Deleting Spiritual Baggage.
I deleted over 11k files from my deleted file folder today. It took some time as I waited, somewhat patiently, for the numbers to change. I noticed that some folders took longer to delete because they were bigger. I just sat and watched the spinning icon continue to remove these unneeded and unwanted items clogging up my system, slowing down my minute-by-minute processing.
I couldn’t help but think of what was happening inside of me spiritually. How my body, and soul, and spirit release my unwanted thoughts, habits, and deeply rooted routines that slow down my processes for living a God-centered life. Do you recall the story of the rich man who asked Jesus, in Luke 18:18 “What must I do to inherit eternal life? Each of us has examined our own lives and asked that question at times. What do I do now and How am I doing so far? That man had positive virtues and didn’t have any apparent vices until Jesus said, “Sell all of your possessions,” then “Give to the poor and come follow me,” because “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.”
Gabriel Bilas said, “Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not speaking about a camel fitting through a sewing needle. He was referring to the small openings that could be found near the large gates of Jerusalem where men and animals, one at a time, were able to enter in and out of the city when the main gates were shut. These openings were very small. The only way that you could a camel through them was to first remove all of the baggage they were carrying so that they could slip through unhindered. I love this image because it is a perfect description of what our own spiritual lives should look like. In order to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, in order to come into complete communion and union with God, we have to drop all of the baggage in our lives that has been weighing us down.
I remember what Paul said in Romans 7: 18 “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing”. Paul is a saint, but he’s not sinless. He wants to do good, but he sometimes sins.
And I more fully got a picture of what that looks like. I saw the numbers of deleted items continue to climb, slowly erasing these unwanted items. I am older now and I too see these prongs of another life, other seasons of living highlighted differently. I see a truth that was not apparent for decades…in fact for too many years in my life. I saw them as wanted items…needed items to support this emotion or pleasure or way of thinking. My way of wanting what I want didn’t appear to me as hurting anyone, other than occasionally me and that was my business right?
As I have matured in my faith, I see that I have truly seen through a glass dimly. I have viewed too many parts of my life not through the filter of God’s word but through my filter of wanting, needing, and supporting a self-centered approach to living and breathing. Logic says I am entitled to these pleasures and moments of satisfaction. I am doing nothing wrong. Doesn’t each of us have an inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness? Isn’t that thinking inside of you too?
But God’s word changes us continually. It is like this deleting process I went through. With every bit of enlightenment, I receive through God’s grace, I see a different horizon. I see a different path that he has illuminated for me to walk. It’s a different path than my old one. It isn’t even one that is overly laborious because I want to take it. I have this desire inside, this need to give more of myself away to God and to others. This spirit of serving continues to replace my self-serving tendencies and I find a joy in that giving and the more I give, the more I want to give myself away. And I wonder where these urgings and longings have been all of my life. And I recall the scripture, Proverbs 25:4-5 – Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel; take away the wicked from the presence of the king and his throne will be established in righteousness.
He brings us healing so that we may walk forward and find joy in what God has planned for us. I see this perpetual spiritual deleting of items as the godly process of skimming off the dross of life…the impurities of sin and shame and self-centered thinking and being transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) to live and walk in a brighter light of Christ within us. As I continue by His grace to draw nearer his light, I have this desire to delete more and more of these old articles of living and put on new garments of praise all with this inner joy that just seems to rise out of the ashes of these deleted items that I thought were so necessary and even important to have in my life.
As we draw nearer to his light, through His word, he changes us…He reveals Himself to us. But we must step off the banks of the shore into the waters of His presence.
That doesn’t happen in a pew on Sunday morning. But it is a good start!
Crowder Let It Rain
