Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
11 13 2024
Do Men Avoid Deeper Thinking?
Perhaps I should ask…Why do many men avoid deeper thinking?
We find an escape route, a back door or football game to get away, escape and procrastinate on any serious thinking until we have to or are forced to. Why are we like that? Please don’t be offended if you are the exception. Really? Could you help the rest of us who have ADHD or temporary and convenient dementia? I know this avoidance is not just relegated to men, but I am an expert on this subject.
This week we sat around a men’s group to discuss what we would do or say if we were given a short time to live? What would your parting wisdom be? What do you hope to be remembered for? And so we talked. Men talked! We dug down beneath our wall of pride and prejudice and certainly any comfort zone and drew each other out in some less traveled deeper waters. And we asked. Have you ever witnessed someone living out their last days? What was that like? My mom was 99 last month. It wasn’t a good week for her and we felt we needed to tell her…
It’s OK… if you need to go home to be with Dad its ok. We will be Ok!
For you, how does living with the end in mind bring purpose to your current situation and time priorities? We asked, who or what in your life is worth fighting for? I heard a lot of – my spouse and family. But are we fighting for them the right way? How many have gotten side tracked with duty…providing…promotions…401k…saving for another car or a house of our own…our vacation… our savings. The list of legitimate responsibilities is truly an avalanche of must do’s. Its not fair that we have to choose what’s necessary and what is most precious. Who is there to help us navigate these critical choices? I told them even most Christian couples don’t have these discussions. It just underscored how critical it is to be meeting with other men (or women) to help us face these real-life questions. There is a dynamic that happens in a men’s group that helps the most guarded and prideful men…soften. In a pretty short time they are talking with relative strangers’ conversations they don’t even finish within themselves. It’s like pride doesn’t have as much power in this setting. Stubbornness is not such a daunting cliff to climb. Part of that is the same dynamic that occurs in corporate worship. There is a power that is amplified and pierces the darkness within us. The Holy Spirit opens up these doors to reflection, purpose, safety and spiritual direction. We might not be able to lead that discussion at home (Yet) but we can be a part of it…be drawn into it…while unlocking some rusty doors and hidden burdens.
To prove that, I asked, do you have these discussions at home with your wife, kids or friends?
No one raised a hand.
Maybe for the same reason we don’t think very deeply or resolutely about how we want to be remembered or more importantly what do we want to leave behind to those we love most? What lasting wisdom might we impart in this 11 hour? You are readying this… but how many will sit down, pull out pen and paper and starting writing that down and then talk to our spouses and children, teenagers or even adult children?
Have you ever? Well, we did this week. 100+ men did. It was convicting and humbling. Holding each other accountable beyond the norm of I don’t know, or I’ll think about this later.,, Not this time. This is too important… there may be no tomorrow. (How many younger than you have gone home this year?
How can you not lead a waisted life without drilling down on this with those who matter ? How?
You can’t! Don’t we have a responsibility to the kids and family about being the head of our household. Isn’t it time that as a man I can face the truth, that its not too late to do a better job with the help of our church and the Holy Spirit?
About having some semblance of an eternal plan for the successes that matter. To set a clear example of what’s right, what matters and this is how you do it. You know, pay attention, dad has something to teach you and we will stay at it until you see what I see. See what God has shown me. That he is a person guiding us, not a checklist of don’ts and shouldn’t.
We all need a quiet place to think. We need some one to walk with and talk with, grow with and be accountable to beyond our spouses.
We must die to the pride that binds us… lies to us … and causes us to resist and say no that’s not me. Of course it’s not, we’re talking about the mature Christian God has called us to be. Far beyond where we all are. Directed and empowered by God the Holy Spirit himself he has provided a community to help you get there. In a moment of sobriety we learn we can’t do this alone. My college degree did not teach me this.
In closing can I implore you to fight for something bigger.
2 Timothy 4:7 says, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith”. Many of us are fighting, but along the way of survival we have lost God’s focus, purpose and directive.
In this verse, Paul is presenting himself as a pattern for others to follow. He uses the idiom “fight the good fight” to describe his loyalty to God and his perseverance in fighting to preserve God’s kingdom on earth. And that begins with having our eyes opened, our pride demolished, and fighting for the people and the purpose of honoring Christ that is our pathway to the real gold. In his final days Paul, charges Timothy to defend his faith against false teaching and our human error.
As a Father figure, in Phil 2: 19-23 He sends Timothy, so he is comforted, knowing that he has left them someone to guide them. He says in vs 20 For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state. 21 For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s”.
Men we too are to be that father figure, pressing in to be a deeper thinker about the things of God…living with the end in view…As heads of our household, we need to not just fight the good fight we must fight the right fight for our marriages and our families. Putting God first and teaching them, perhaps, with what little we know to Love God and live a life for the Glory of God. God rewards us with peace and a joy the world can’t know.
I am Starting a “Following Jesus Class” Online tomorrow night Thursday 14th at 7pm to 8:30pm It will continue for five weeks. I hope you will consider joining us for those who could use a refresher on the tenants of our faith. Invite a friend or a family member. Here is the link.
https://meet.google.com/pbr-jvhx-ykm
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What Mercy Did For Me [feat. Crystal Yates Micah Tyler Joshua Sherman]
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