Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
3 10 2025

Audio Version

What Has Happened to Male Leadership in the Home and Christian Leadership at Large?

I’ve been reflecting on and researching this issue from two perspectives:

  1. The increasing number of pastors and preachers leaving the ministry and the overall decline of Christianity in America.
  2. The diminishing presence of Christian leadership in the home and the urgent need for a revival of the priesthood of Christ.

My audience has only a handful of ordained pastors, but I believe the struggles of Church leadership are deeply connected to what’s happening in our homes.

Pastors and Clergy: The Loss of Sensitivity and Wonder

First responders and police officers often become hardened to the reality of their work. They witness so much brokenness that they naturally develop a level of desensitization. This is not unique to law enforcement—it happens in ministry as well. Thirty-five years ago, James Dobson, while serving on the Washington Commission against pornography, admitted that even he felt a level of desensitization after hours of exposure to filth.

The Apostle Paul, in his letter to Titus 2:2, emphasizes the importance of character in leadership: “Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.”

One of the greatest challenges in Christian leadership is maintaining a fresh, vibrant relationship with God. Many pastors and leaders get so caught up in the business of running “this business” that they lose sight of why they were called in the first place. They lose the “wonder of ministry”. For those of us involved in lay ministry—small groups, Bible studies, and discipleship—the difference between being a good teacher and walking in the Spirit is eternal. It’s not just about conveying knowledge; it’s about revealing the wonders of God.

Leaders must constantly ask themselves:

  • If I weren’t in ministry tomorrow, what would be left of my faith?

Cary Nieuwhof poses these critical questions:

  • Would I still passionately love God?
  • Would I have a deep prayer life?
  • Would I still long to lead people to Jesus?
  • Would I wake up with gratitude?
  • Would I still confess my sin?
  • Would I live out of the overflow of my relationship with God?

Each of us should ask similar questions about our personal walk with Christ. We are all called to be disciples, and all of us—specifically men—are called to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. We should be growing in faith, maturing from the milk of God’s Word to the meat. After 10, 20, or 40 years, shouldn’t we have become elders or deacons, having been transformed from glory to glory? Yet, too many have not.  The Apostle Paul, in his first letter to Timothy, outlines the qualifications for overseers, emphasizing the importance of managing one’s household:

“He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity.”

The Consequences of Abdicating Spiritual Leadership

This lack of growth directly contributes to the decline of the Church in America, but more strikingly, it reveals the crisis of character and faith among men. Fathers are failing to instill the principles of honor, integrity, character, and faith as the foundation of truth in their homes. Many men have abdicated their God-given role as the spiritual leaders of their families. In their absence, wives and mothers have taken on this burden alone—not in true partnership, but out of necessity.

This is like what happens when you sever the roots of a tree. In Japan, when roots are clipped, trees remain stunted, becoming miniature bonsai versions of what they were meant to be. Likewise, children—and their mothers—are being denied the deep roots of faith that only a father, walking in his God-ordained role, can fully cultivate.

The Call Back to Godly Leadership

The truth is this: God has called men to be the heads of their households—the priests of their homes, spiritual leaders of integrity and honor, devoted ambassadors of Christ in both the home and marketplace. Yet, too many have never realized that God loves them not for what they produce but for who they are called to be.

Men are called to be fathers, husbands, leaders, and fishers of men and children—the image of Jesus Himself.

A Path to Restoration

I help lead a group of 200 men every Monday night, and most would attest to the truth of what I’m saying. They come because the Holy Spirit has called them home—to be mentored, encouraged, and equipped to walk closer with God. While they possess a glimpse of the truth and the desire to change, many lack the necessary support system and spiritual knowledge to set boundaries at home and work, essential for reclaiming the high ground.

So, how do we turn the ship? We start with the rudder.

Truth #1: The Way Home

The more you engage the Scriptures, the more you engage with God. The closer you draw to Him, the more motivated you’ll be to follow His roadmap. This is where real change begins.

  1. Seek forgiveness and return to God’s instruction manual. Read the directions—His Word.
  2. Decide on a personal time to read Scripture and make it a priority.
  3. Choose a reading plan that keeps you engaged and committed.
  4. Pray for God to increase your faith and give you the strength to follow through.
  5. Pray for and seek an accountability partner. Get involved in a small group or Bible study. Stop walking alone—it’s dangerous and leads to ruin.
  6. Understand that God didn’t call you to be perfect or even “ready” in your own eyes. He called you to obey. It’s time to start listening to God’s voice over the noise of the world.

Without a solid relationship with God, we are on a dead-end street. We lose our ability to lead, to stand firm in temptation, and choose character over performance or money. Without a true relationship with God, we lose our authority in every area of our lives—our marriages, our parenting, our influence in the world. We also lose our joy in the tough seasons of walking it out.

Maybe you don’t feel that joy right now, but everything I’ve said points to why—and how—you can reclaim it. Maybe for the first time.

If you will listen and follow His instructions.

After all, as your relationship with God diminishes or dies, you lose your authority and power to lead—not to mention your passion and joy for living the life He called you to.

Remember:

  • It’s about a relationship.
  • God loves you—not for what you produce, but for who you are.
  • In the end, “who I am” matters far more than what I do.

If you would like to pass this lesson and future devotions to someone, send them this Signup link: http://eepurl.com/gKlklD   
Be careful with the “unsubscribe” link below. If you click it, you will have to personally resubscribe again.
My website to view past devotions is https://fearlesslycourageous.com

Casting Crowns  One more song for you