Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
11/14/2023
The Paralysis of Regret. How could I possibly come back from this?
Regret often stems from the inability to cope with things you did or didn’t do. You might think you deserve the self-criticism, shame, and negativity. I also believe we do go through a natural time of mourning over something that has a devastating impact on us or others. BUT… by faith, we cannot live there. We may walk through the valley of the shadow of death but we do not live there.
So let’s explore this a little deeper.
Have you ever made a mistake or done something so massively stupid that it hurt other people? Ever embarrassed yourself beyond recognition? Ever gotten caught in something that ultimately harmed others? Ever felt like your future or a relationship or your life savings or 401k have been forever tainted or even destroyed because of…..?
Regret comes on like a flood. Your gut doesn’t belong to you anymore because it is forever upside down and lives in your throat. You can’t sleep, as you wallow in this pit of despair, paralyzed, with no will to talk, or do anything. Hope has left you in a state of unbelief. And the snapshot is that this is even too big for God to repair let alone fix. We may not say that out loud but we certainly act like it. “I just want to crawl and hide.” And in wallowing there long enough you will find the temptation electrified with thoughts of complete darkness, dismalness, and a true insight into: “What’s the use? My life is destroyed. There is no sense in living anymore”. Satan has come in and filled you with regret, and despair so deep, there is no light. Faith is at best, flickering or out. You may even have experienced a spirit of suicidal thoughts because of it.
Hebrews 3:12 says, “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.” (Regret and despair IS unbelief) Notice the connection between unbelief and evil, an evil heart of unbelief. The root of the evil is the unbelief. The other side is 1 Thessalonians 1:3: “Remembering before our God and Father your “work of faith”.” The same little phrase is used in 2 Thessalonians 1:11: “To this end, we always pray for you that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every “work of faith”. This implies to me that life is war.
1 Tim 6:12 says, “Fight the good fight of faith…take hold of eternal life..”
2 apostles give us true-life examples of their two tragedies of unbelief but one held on to his faith and one did not. Peter and Judas had similar experiences. Peter denied Jesus vehemently 3 times but repented and held to his faith. Judas’s failure was similar. He said he is in the garden. It says, he later felt remorse but in his unbelief of God’s forgiving grace went out and hung himself. Complete despair in the sin of unbelief. Peter repented, but it was not just enough to change his heart, he also, by faith, changed his direction and let go of that despair and spirit of unbelief. Jesus had prayed for him that after Satan’s sifting, he would not lose his faith.
My wife showed me a Jesus calling note that said, that people often walk in fear of their tomorrows, next weeks, and next years because they don’t see Jesus there. I know personally that regret is both erosive and paralyzing, and it literally washes away my faith and confidence in God and myself. I was powerless to enter into the victory and promises of freedom that adorn his Holy Bible. “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Worldly sorrow, is a whirlpool dragging you into more sorrow and the complete death of your faith.
God has always been gentler with me than I am with myself. His promises are clear and precise, that His Work will succeed, where I failed miserably. His is the promise to complete what I left damaged, destroyed, or unfinished. His promise is his power will flow in to fill in our gapping holes, no matter how deep your sorrow lies. Psalm 116:3b-5a,6, “I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: ‘LORD, save me!’ The LORD is gracious and righteous; The LORD protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me.” (NIV)
This is a battle, make no mistake. It will raise its ugly head throughout your days and nights but take every thought captive 2 Cor 10:5 again and again and again. Shame will continue to swamp those thoughts and the happenings of your past. STOP living life in your rearview mirror. Look and see Jesus in your future, who restores what the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25 “And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with wine and oil. 25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army that I sent among you.”
Are you listening?
Lord, we come needing release from regrets and shame and from wallowing in our despair for too long. Help my faith strengthen in your sovereign and ongoing work to work all things for my good and your glory. Help us turn our regrets over to you, in Jesus’ name.
MercyMe – Even If
