Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
9 18 2026
Someone Has to Make the First Move
Healing begins when pride is swallowed, forgiveness is offered, and help is finally welcomed.
Families do not always fall apart because people stop loving one another. Sometimes they fall apart because pride convinces everyone to wait for someone else to say, “I’m sorry.” Arguments become heated, words become weapons, and people we love begin bleeding emotionally. Harsh words cannot be retrieved once they have been spoken. Scripture says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). We may regret what we said almost immediately, but pride can still leave us standing at a distance, waiting for the other person to make the first move. The scars can remain visible for years.
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). Pride does not always sound arrogant. Sometimes it sounds reasonable: They started it. They hurt me first. They owe me an apology. Why should I be the one to call? But while everyone waits to be proven right, the family continues to bleed. Its called the Spirit of Offense. (Don’t pick it up). Forgiveness can arrive late and still be powerful. It can still be redeeming.
It can still reopen the door to a love everyone thought had been lost.
Sometimes life begins to look as though our best days are behind us. Loneliness settles in, disappointment becomes familiar, and we quietly accept an empty version of life. But when we look for Jesus in the middle of those thoughts, we discover He is not finished with us. When we ask Him to fill our hearts again, His love begins creating pathways of light into the future. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). There can still be good days ahead—enough laughter, purpose, reconciliation, and hope to rediscover the joy of living.
This is not only about marriage or divorce. Financial pressure, illness, addiction, a prodigal child, job loss, grief, disappointment, and years of unresolved hurt can all place enormous strain on a family. As the spiritual leader of your home, you cannot control everyone’s response, but you are responsible for your own. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). Leadership means being sensitive, supportive, understanding, and willing to listen—
even when others are angry, confused, afraid, or blaming you.
Do not compare your family’s private struggles with another family’s public photographs. Social media gives us snapshots, not the complete story. We see smiles, vacations, celebrations, and perfect moments, but we do not see the cancer diagnosis, the troubled marriage, the financial fear, or the child who has walked away. Comparison will convince you that everyone else is flourishing while your family is failing. That is rarely the whole truth.
What does your support team look like? Are you standing alone in a small conflict that is becoming an all-out war? Who have you allowed to see what is really happening? Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms when he no longer had the strength to hold them up himself (Exodus 17:12). You also need trusted people beside you…people who will pray, listen, speak truth, and love you enough to say, “Stop. You cannot continue doing that and expect kindness, mercy, or healing to come from it.”
You need a “stop person” in your life. That may be a trusted friend, a mature believer, your pastor, an elder, or a Christian counselor. It means becoming vulnerable and transparent. It means eating your pride and admitting, “I do not know how to fix this.” That is not weakness. “In the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).
Do not wait until there is nothing left but wreckage. Make the call. Send the message. Invite someone to breakfast. Meet with your pastor or an elder. Ask for prayer, accountability, and honest counsel. And if you have wounded someone, stop waiting for them to come to you. Go first. Say, “I was wrong. Please forgive me. Can we talk?” So what if you percieve you were only 25% wrong… humble yourself. Let love reign…let forgiveness plant a new seed of life
Someone has to make the first move. Let it be you.
Your humility may become the doorway through which God begins bringing your family home.
Something to ask yourself:
Who is God placing on your heart right now—and what pride, hurt, or fear is keeping you from making the first move?
Who is the trusted friend, pastor, or elder you need to invite into this struggle before more damage is done?
What could God begin restoring if you humbled yourself today and simply said, “I was wrong. Please forgive me. Can we talk?”
Who are you supposed to be praying for?
Thank you for spending these few minutes with me today. My prayer is that these devotionals don’t simply give you something to think about, but draw you into a deeper love for Jesus Christ and His community.
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If you’d like to go even deeper, I’d love to invite you to join me continuing on ever Tuesday, until Oct 6th, for my free online course, Discovering Jesus. We’ll meet Tuesday evenings from 7:00–8:30 p.m. as we explore the foundational truths of our faith and, more importantly, deepen our relationship with Christ. You’re welcome to invite your spouse, family members, friends, or neighbors. I’ll provide all of the materials at no charge. Just let me know.. To join the video meeting, click this link: https://meet.google.com/zkb-dxcq-iau
Until next time, keep your eyes on Jesus…because He truly is the Treasure.
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