Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
10 30 2026

Audio Version

Part 2 — The Empty Chair Nobody Noticed

Have you ever walked into a room full of people and somehow felt completely alone? Have you ever hoped someone would notice that you weren’t doing well, but couldn’t bring yourself to ask for help?
And have you ever wondered how many people quietly disappear from our churches
because they never felt they truly belonged?

Yesterday, I shared something that’s been weighing heavily on my heart. Our Courageous men’s group began this semester with 284 men, and we’ve leveled out at just under 200. I understand that people come and go, that schedules change, and that no ministry retains everyone. But I can’t stop thinking about those other hundred men. Not because I’m concerned about attendance numbers, but because I wonder what happened to them. I wonder whether some came looking for hope and left feeling more alone than when they arrived. And I wonder whether we could have done something differently.

You know what’s remarkable to me? A man can get up every morning and go to a grueling job, work for an unappreciative boss, endure criticism, disappointment, and exhaustion, and keep showing up because he believes he has to. But when it comes to relationships, especially spiritual relationships, many of us have never learned how to push through that initial discomfort. If we don’t feel connected right away, we leave. Maybe he attended one meeting, maybe two or four, but he didn’t immediately feel like he belonged. Perhaps everyone around him seemed to know each other, and he didn’t know how to break through. Maybe he was carrying something so painful that he couldn’t imagine sharing it with strangers. And so he stopped coming. Not necessarily because he didn’t need what was being offered, but perhaps because he needed it so badly that the possibility of being disappointed again was more than he wanted to face.

And sometimes we walk away more discouraged and more alone than when we first arrived. I wonder how many people are doing that in our churches every Sunday. And I’m not just talking about men anymore. I’m talking about the widow who comes to church and leaves without anyone asking how she’s doing. The young mother overwhelmed with children and responsibilities. The husband and wife sitting together while their marriage is quietly unraveling. The single adult who feels invisible in a room full of families. The older Christian who wonders whether anyone still needs them. They’re all around us, and sometimes we’re so busy enjoying our own fellowship that we fail to notice the empty chair.

Jesus told a story about a shepherd who had a hundred sheep and discovered one was missing. In Luke 15:4, He asked, “Doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?” Did you catch those last words? Until he finds it. He didn’t say the ninety-nine were good enough. He didn’t say the missing sheep should have known better. He didn’t sit around waiting for that sheep to find its way back. He went looking. Now, I know that parable speaks of God’s pursuit of the lost sinner, but surely those of us who have experienced that pursuing love ought to reflect something of the same heart toward people who are drifting away, discouraged, or struggling to belong.

And that brings me back to those hundred men. Did you know that approximately 75 percent of the 284 men who started our semester came because somebody invited them? Somebody cared enough to ask.
And I’ve had men come up to me and say, “Thank you so much for inviting me. I needed this so badly.
But I had no idea how badly I needed it until I came.”
Think about that for a moment. They didn’t know what they were missing until somebody loved them enough to open a door.
And then I get to watch something extraordinary happen.
I see the Holy Spirit working in their lives, softening hardened hearts, healing old wounds,
bringing conviction, building friendships, and teaching them how
to become the spiritual leaders God has called them to be.

And it doesn’t stop with them. That man goes home to his wife and children a little different than he was before. Perhaps he listens more carefully. Maybe he apologizes for something he’s been too proud to admit. Maybe he begins praying with his family. Maybe he reaches out to another man who is struggling. His children carry something of that faith into their own families. His coworkers see something different in him. His friends begin asking questions. And somewhere along the way, someone else comes to know Jesus Christ because one person cared enough to invite another. We’re not simply filling chairs on Monday nights. We’re participating in the making of disciples whose lives may influence families and generations we will never meet.

I don’t know what happened to every one of those hundred men. And I certainly can’t promise that every one of them will return. But I know this. Every single one of them matters to God. And they matter to me. And I cannot believe I’m the only person whose heart God is stirring. Maybe there are a hundred men in our community who need someone to find them. Maybe there are a thousand lonely people sitting in churches across our city, quietly wondering whether anyone would notice if they never came back. And maybe some of them are waiting for you.

Friday, I want to speak to the men and women who are willing to do more than feel concerned. To the soldiers of grace who understand that loving people sometimes means going after them, even when it’s inconvenient. Because the Church was never intended to be a place where people quietly disappear without anyone noticing.

Two Questions to Carry With You

1. Have you ever walked away from a relationship or Christian community because you didn’t immediately feel connected, and how might that experience help you understand someone who has quietly disappeared?

2. If you knew that one person who stopped attending your church or group was struggling alone, would you be willing to make the first move, even if it meant stepping outside your comfort zone?

I’ve included Part 1 in case you missed it.

If Fearlessly Courageous has encouraged you and you feel led to help us reach others, I invite you to partner with me in this mission to reach out to more souls who need encouraging. Every gift helps us continue sharing the message of
Jesus Christ, freely and faithfully.
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Thank you for allowing me the privilege of sharing this journey with you. You are prayed for, valued, and deeply appreciated.

Josh Groban  Lord I return to you.