Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
3 31 2025
Has your family ever said you were closer to your church friends than to them?
I get into deeper waters as I tackled this piece. The concept of friendship is a strong one. In fact, it is complicated, with many thorns along the way to the rose.
Proverbs 18:24: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend
who sticks closer than a brother.”
The concept of friendship is a strong one in Proverbs, where the word “friend” appears multiple times. However, this topic is complex and filled with both beauty and challenges. Understanding it requires both biblical insight and common sense. Let’s take a closer look at the analysis, laying out the various factors we must consider on both sides.
When a family member expresses concern about your closeness to friends over family, there is usually an underlying reason. They may feel neglected, shunned, or placed second. Their pain should not be dismissed. However, navigating this issue fairly is not straightforward. Where does biblical truth fit in? Some families openly confront members about prioritizing friends over family, and they can feel offended. This should not go unresolved. Ask yourself: Is their concern valid? Why do they feel this way? What is the truth in the situation? What you don’t need is the attitude…I don’t need this!
In today’s era of social media, the word “friend” is often diluted. Many connections remain superficial, and loneliness persists despite digital engagement. But how do we define normal relationships? It varies from individual to individual, culture to culture, and life stage to life stage. The key is to resist worldly judgment and instead seek biblical wisdom.
If you find yourself closer to friends than family, it is worth examining why. Perhaps your family has not invested in the relationship the way they expect you to. Some people say, “I love my family,
but I don’t like them.” If your family constantly criticizes you,
should you be the one to strive for closeness? (I think we should pray for reconciliation.)
Relationships should be reciprocal. Family members may hold onto past mistakes, while friends see who you are today. We often gravitate toward friendships that offer shared values and understanding.
Healthy families mature past childhood rivalries and old wounds. However, many families struggle to forgive, which can lead to bitterness. Conversely, friendships do not carry the same historical baggage, allowing people to be themselves and relax. In close-knit families where open communication exists, those bonds should be treasured. However, family interactions can sometimes be unfiltered,
causing unintentional hurt.
Hard Times and True Friendship
Life brings difficulties—some overcome them alone, while others never fully recover. Many who have faced deep pain may hesitate to trust again, choosing their confidants carefully. Some people never felt close to family, and friendships became the substitute. In these cases, friends can become like brothers or sisters.
Loneliness takes different forms. Some may have a strong marriage but lack close friends. Others may appear socially connected but feel isolated inside. There are two types of friends: those who stick around for personal benefit and those who remain through thick and thin. Proverbs warns against superficial friendships and urges discernment in choosing companions. True friends build each other up in Christ rather than leading one another astray.
Types of Meaningful Relationships
Ideally, we should cultivate deep, meaningful relationships in both our family and friendships. Biblical wisdom highlights three key relationships:
Mentors: Godly individuals who guide us (John 13:1-20). We need to seek those out.
Peers: Friends who walk alongside us (Proverbs 13:20).
Disciples: The next generation whom we support (Titus 2:3-4). How are we giving back and growing others? Sometimes, we can neglect those closest to us.
Many people can list a handful of friends who have been more reliable or were just there for them more than some family members. A true friend is a gift, and those relationships should be valued and treasured. You are indeed blessed to have a handful in your lifetime, and even more blessed if you can include some family members in that list. Either one requires intentionality, honesty, and heart-felt conversations without judging each other while still being honest in sharing your own perspective. Find your common ground and discuss what you need more of without judging the other for perhaps not being able to afford it for you. Be humble and transparent while resisting the temptation to take up the spirit of offense in areas that are not common ground or cannot be bridged at this time.
Christ as the Ultimate Friend
Proverbs 18:24’s reference to “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” is often seen as a foreshadowing of Christ. Jesus called His disciples friends (John 15:13) and laid down His life for them. He remains the ultimate example of loyal friendship. Hebrews 13:5 assures us, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” With Christ as our foundation, our friendships and family bonds can be strengthened.
Being a good family member or friend requires a heart aligned with Christ. With prayer, humility, and grace, broken family relationships can be restored. Some may need clear boundaries to move forward, but with wisdom, both family and friendships can be meaningful sources of support.
The Spiritual Meaning of Family and Friendship
True spiritual relationships, whether in family or friendship, are built on trust, honesty, and prayer. They embrace the whole person rather than selective aspects. Both family and friends should offer emotional support, motivation, and spiritual encouragement. When healed, these relationships become a source of belonging and shared faith. We didn’t pick our family, but we selected our friends. Sometimes, we can inadvertently neglect family in certain areas because of our familiarity. What we can do is continue to grow in Christ and patiently help both our family and friends grow as well. However, through prayer and understanding, they can always improve. Just like us.
If you would like to pass this lesson and future devotions to someone, send them this Signup link: http://eepurl.com/i_nlb2 My website to view past devotions is https://fearlesslycourageous.com
Leave a Comment