Desk of Dennis Piller
Fearlessly Courageous
3 6 2023
Action Steps When Things Are Falling Apart
Persistence is a great leadership quality – but it becomes a weakness when overdone. Bullheadedness is not always the way out or through a problem. How many red flags does it take, or how many closed doors must be slammed in your face to realize there may be a message here? I lived a good portion of my life, never taking no for an answer. If I wanted it…I worked extra hard to achieve it. Isn’t that part of our parents’ work ethic we learned? Never give up…work hard…make something of yourself! I was the oldest of 6. Went to the best Catholic schools, that my parents sacrificed for, but there wasn’t much left over for fashion or for extras.
So I grew up, in my mind, with never enough. I was always scrimping by. Sure, I made it! Because I NEVER gave up always trying to get more, save more… be more! Whatever it took. I… I and ME!
1 John 2:16 “For all that is in the world— the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life— is not from the Father but from the world”.
But I learned…the hard way… Some things you just need to let go of. So how do you build a love-powered leadership toolbox? (We all should have one) You can’t do that in the flesh… you can’t do that following the lust of your eyes but by knowing 1) when to surrender vs. when to persist, and 2) how to respond in healthy ways when things are falling apart. Let’s talk about surrender, trust, and a higher calling or a divine plan, or how about a resounding
NO…. this is not for you.
When something falls apart, it can feel like a tragedy. But as the poem by John O’Donohue reminds us,
“The world is always in the act of becoming.
No matter what falls apart, something new will be born in its place”.
It is an opportunity to explore the possibilities and create something new and beautiful. Versus continuing to press on in the face of this….MESS!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds us that “To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” We can trust that when something falls apart, it is just part of the cycle of life. God is constantly renewing and restoring the world in the New Testament,
Furthermore, Romans 12:2 encourages us to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” When something falls apart, it can open up a whole new world of possibilities. So where do we start?
The Paradox of Spiritual Surrender
Surrender means we choose to let go of things that we cannot control and focus on the things we can control. Rather than trying to control the uncontrollable, surrender involves noticing that there is nothing one can do to change the situation. Why is that such a hard thing to see for man? It’s offering up our small self or personal identity to that of the absolute ruler of the universe! When you surrender spiritually, you stop forcing solutions on situations you can’t control and instead trust and have faith that there is a Sovereign God who has your best interest at heart…A holy force taking care of everything in a perfectly orchestrated manner.
Why is it our first response is….REALLY?
Romans 8:28 teaches that “All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” We can trust that even when something falls apart, God is still at work. He has a plan for what will be born in the space created by the loss.
When we surrender, we give up, but not in the way we think giving up means. We don’t give up on the situation, but rather, we give up the notion that we should be able to or even can manage the situation and know anything that can help.
We give up the belief that we can make reality different than what it is.
The purpose of the surrender process is to turn your life and your will over to the Lord. Without submission, you are left to your own limited devices in overcoming your weaknesses and challenges.
How many self-centered failures can you recall to make my point?
Surrender frees you from your fears.
You WILL develop great faith and trust in Jesus, His will, His timing, and His gift of agency to all.
The submission of your will is truly the only really personal thing we have to offer up to our Father which art in heaven.
What else do you have to give?
It’s okay to believe and have faith for something…
just let go of your attachment to it!
It does not have to be for you to be happy, content or delivered… God has a divine work to do…
Stop trying to do his work.
Surender to Him and Trust His Love for you!
Acknowledge where your agency ends and when someone else’s exceeds yours. We should not be forcing our agency on another person or trying to force our will upon God. You can’t do that without being manipulating.
Make peace with your powerlessness and recognize your utter dependence on God. It’s called humility.
Accepting your powerlessness sends you directly into the arms of God where you are empowered (see 2 Cor 12:10) – “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.“
I cannot, but God can.”
