Fearlessly Courageous

Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
3/25/2021

God Vision for Your Marriage

Life’s longest journey is marriage and all journeys require maintenance and repair along the way. We travel in inclement weather over mountains and deserts. We travel through life, injured at times, or even broken but we keep pressing on.

But two are better than one because when one falls there is another to pick you up and that happens many times in marriage. Eccl 4 9-12

But times change… we get comfortable with each other. Passion fades and becomes polluted with the cares of this world. We fell in love serving each other but along the way, the serving becomes more our duties…and her duties…and our duties. I know that when we lose the law of pursuit…That law of serving our spouse for love and passion’s sake… we lose intimacy and passion.

Some just say we have become comfortable. We finish each other sentences. I know what they want or need. Sure physical intimacy is not what it used to be but we are comfortable with where we are together. I’m not sure if we are really growing that much but we are comfortable.

And the man asked; What is your Marriage Vision? Many understand the power and value of a mission statement, vision statement, action statement, and legacy statement. I had done that years ago but know that many do not. We see that more in business. It’s required! It brings intentionality, purpose, clarity, and direction. It’s what successful CEOs require of their top performers. As they should. Actually, most of these are done on an individual basis like goal setting, and are ALL in writing, so there is accountability.

But what about a Vision Statement for your Marriage? I have been to marriage seminars. I know they are helpful and fruitful in keeping a marriage healthy and growing. They encouraged conversation, that always seemed to be lacking.

It got me thinking about the years of taking my top executives to the beach for a 3-day annual vision casting retreat for my company. We started at 9 am and went till 2 pm and then joined up with our wives for a fun afternoon and dinner together. We continued each year to grow our company. To stretch ourselves, work through problems and internal personality issues, and came up with a forward-thinking plan for the new year.

Last night Jimmy Evans asked some probing questions:
Are you married on purpose? Why?
What was it about your spouse that made you realize they were “the one”?
What does it mean to have a vision for your marriage?
How would we purposely pursue “God’s Vision” for our marriage and what would that look like, if we intentionally pursued God’s vision?
Read Habakkuk 2: 2-4 What do you think God’s purpose was for bringing you and your spouse together?
How would a vision retreat, like the one I discussed above, affect your marriage, and do you think it would help you and your spouse to connect?
What would you have to do to plan and do a vision retreat?
What obstacles would you have to overcome to have one?

I know. These are loaded questions. Aren’t they worth answering and putting on paper? The fact is the Vision for your marriage should be God’s Vision. It was He that give us the desires of our hearts. What does he have to say about your union together these last years?

How about a vision board with the name of every child, every important relationship, and every current problem you’re facing on it? How about some of your marital concerns or goals/desires? What about what God would want your future to look like? And let’s not leave out Sex.

How about starting prayer at 8 or 9 am and asking God about these matters and then coming into agreement on each of them. (this is not about trying to win an argument or particular position). Pray about all of these issues and find God’s will for each of them …TOGETHER. Not your goals or their goals but OUR GOALS! As laid out by God himself. His vision for each area of your family and married life. When you can’t agree, you agree to go home on that topic and get counseling and let a third party help guide you.

I hope you re-read this with your spouse. Reread if for yourself. Aside from God himself, this is your most important and invested relationship. He said my people perish for lack of a vision. Isn’t this exercise more important than the ones dictated by your company? Isn’t this far more important? What a lesson for you and your children. We begin by submitting our marriage to God in prayer and then address every area of your personal expectations. Write it all down. Talk and pray half the day and play the rest of the day. And do it again the next day as God continues to ferment those ideas within you. Know that God will meet with you and make you one heart and mind in a marriage guided by His wisdom.

One way to know if your vision or dream comes from God is to pass it through the filter of the Bible. That is to see if your vision or dream has the same purpose as those found in the Word.

Will you not stop and pray with us and your family for one hour this week?
He listens!

Back up Scriptures
Proverbs 29:18 says: Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
Proverbs 16:9 “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

Graves Into Gardens (Lyrics) – Elevation Worship ft. Brandon Lake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvv-9zosPs