Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
10/29/2021
Submission. What is a woman’s role in marriage?
They told a story of their kids giving their mom and dad dancing lessons. The wife was really excited because she was always the dancer and felt he had two left feet. But as soon as they got there the instructor told them that rhythm is learned. She thought to herself, you don’t know my husband.
The teacher said the woman must follow the man by closing her eyes while dancing with him. She recognized immediately that she wasn’t responding well to his initiation of direction. She wasn’t following like she thought she would. She was helping him lead. Because she inwardly knew she was smarter than he was. She came to realize that dance is an art form, and we must learn to be in sync. Stop pulling. But inside my head I was saying, I don’t want that move and this other voice said but I must learn to follow.
Personally, I’ve learned over the years
that the best leaders are also the best followers.
Submission: our backgrounds, our upbringing, our culture all contribute to the filter that we use in the attitude that we have about submission. What is your definition of being a helper? What is your definition of submission?
It says submission in marriage means selflessness, service, accountability, and respect for your partner. That definition really applies to the husband and the wife. It is not a call to slavery or a woman’s call to lose her voice. The fundamental rubric on which the Christian marriage is built is love, and love is anything but the desire to control.
When we talk about submission in marriage I think you must first look through the eyeglass of what does submission to God mean?
Submission to God means saying no for his purposes. Letting go of your desires at times is always difficult. But within lies the opportunity to give glory to God. I believe that’s what we do when we love one another, sacrifice for one another, submit to the wisdom that comes from the other.
In the film that we watched women manifest a willingness to follow their husband’s leadership. To come alongside and help him be a better leader. That’s a win-win for both sides. Of course, she can follow with a crummy attitude or a sharp lip because her heart is not in it and everybody is miserable. So it must begin with our submission to God. We must have a heart that understands and appreciates and follows God‘s plan for marriage. .
Yesterday I said that marriage isn’t a 50-50 proposition. Conducting a relationship as a business deal will get you in a lot of trouble. Ephesians 5:33. Instead of real giving, they often invest, expecting a return, and often feel resentful if their expectation isn’t met. Although it may be reasonable to expect fairness and reciprocity in our relationships, running our relationship like an accountant is likely to engender tension, mistrust, and suspicion.
However, when couples are in the rhythm of giving to each other, they are sensitive to each other’s needs and get great pleasure from bringing happiness to each other. There are so many great forms that these practices of devotion can take, including loving touches, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Our greatest joy begins to come not from getting what we want, but from seeing the delight in our partner’s eyes when they receive our offering.
Some might call that submission but it is equally called love.
Building up your man, encouraging him, giving him the respect that he deserves is incredibly powerful. It often takes a leap of faith to give up the scorekeeping and become less conditional in our giving. (that goes for both sides) And while there are no guarantees regarding the outcome, to say that it’s worth the risk is a monumental understatement.
That was a mom in the film that talked about her child’s football team that was always losing. Always! But she said her son was on that team and she cheered on every play that they ran. No matter what the score, no matter if they won or lost she was their cheerleader.
She said when you put on your wedding dress,
you put on that cheering outfit.
And one thing we can not afford is to forget to cheer for our husbands especially when they’re down or losing. Even when he makes mistakes, or to put it more bluntly, sins, we must encourage and affirm him and build him up in our Lord Jesus Christ.
The last story they told was a couple going to a party and he was driving too fast and they were both unhappy with each other. It only grew worse when she had forgotten the tickets. They drove back home, she got the tickets, stood by the side of the car threw them on the seat, and said I’m not going. Her husband said, get in the car! And she’s thinking, he’s telling me what to do? She was boiling. He told her a second time to get in the car. She knew she was in a crisis moment. But in that heated moment the Holy Spirit convicted her, she was actually battling in her own mind that God was calling her to be submissive, even though he was ugly and unloving.
But she said at that moment, it defined the path that she would take for the rest of her life. She said, yes Lord, I will obey.
I believe submitting is following leadership even when we may be better than they are. It all begins by submitting to God first. Women have a powerful impact on their husbands.
Submission to God’s authority brings freedom.
It sets order and direction in our everyday lives for those found in Christ.
You’ll never walk alone. Only Boys Aloud
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFr8mPh9wyk&list=RDVhrxRccU3Lw&index=6 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFr8mPh9wyk&list=RDVhrxRccU3Lw&index=6)
