Fearlessly Courageous
Desk of Dennis Piller
5/6/2021
Addicted to Approval.
Are you one who just can’t get comfortable until you have it all figured out? What is going to happen, how, and when? When you don’t, you become anxious, restless, nervous, worried, and then grouchy. It’s that need for control that just won’t let go of you. I know… It just who I am!
The symptoms are similar to a drug addict. The degree of severity is not the same, but the symptoms are. I needed a “Fix”. Sure, I trust in Jesus for salvation but I trust in me for the answers to daily living. If you could just step back and be objective, you might see people who worry excessively clearly show they trust themselves and not God to solve their problems.
(Worry is a sin and should be repented of just like any other sin).
Proverbs 3:7 says “do not be wise in your own eyes”
Jeremiah 10:23 “Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own;
it is not for them to direct their steps”.
We have done our own reasoning/worrying for so long we do not know another way. These people don’t like their lives and they think it’s all about the circumstances. But they live life hating their attempts of control but at the same time, they need it too. Many have a real sense of being flawed and since we don’t approve of ourselves, we are afraid no one else will either. There are endless addictions but being addicted to approval is so painful and self-debilitating.
When we base our worth on what others think of us it causes us to become addicted to their approval. It is this overpowering need to feel good about ourselves. But it’s a false belief that will open the door to real misery.
We work so hard for the approval of others, but it only takes a glance or word or even a silent, sign of not being appreciated to ruin our sense of self-worth. You are in bondage.
The first way is worldly and this prevalent attitude that we can take care of ourselves, make our own plans, and so we struggle to do it our way, in our timing. We struggle in our own frustration and end up worn out and tired most of the time. We have no peace or joy because we’re confused and defeated.
“But God” calls us to seek his approval, not man’s. He says we are: ” to live by faith using the power of God”. Hebrews 10:20 it’s called: “the new and living way”. It produces peace, joy, ease, and success. We either seek acceptance from people the wrong way or we choose God‘s way. It’s OK to want people to like and accept you but everyone expects something different from you. How can one possibly please them all? So instead, they exist in this merry-go-round living in the fear of not being accepted. It’s so painful, hurtful and leaves you living in darkness in real misery and rejection.
We must learn to accept God rather than try to earn acceptance. God wants you to see that your approval comes from him. Yes, we are to pray for these people but trust God.
Proverbs 21:1 “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases. All man’s ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart”. If God can cause a river to flow in a certain direction, he can change the hearts of men. That isn’t my job or yours! We wear ourselves out trying to do what only God can do. We can have favor with God and he will give us favor with man.
Luke 4:18–19 Whenever we attempt to make things happen by the works of the flesh…Being driven by the approval of others — God will stand back and wait for us to wear ourselves out. When that happens, I pray you will call upon the Lord so you can be free.
The need to be popular and accepted by others will steal your destiny.
We cannot always be people pleasers and God pleasers at the same time.
Ask God for divine connections and friendships that will be perfect for you. Walk away from those people you know are not right for you because you don’t have other friends. Trust God and step out into Godly circles at church or small group of like-minded Christians. God won’t let you down. There will always be times when someone will disapprove of you. But stop. Turn the situation and them over to God and let him deal with them. Seek to Please God and He will cause you to be loved by others.
Excerpts are taken from Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer.
Awari vs. Jose Figueroa Jr. – Lauren Daigle “You Say” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA4Hdqq-zrI
